Welcome back to The Inkwell.
I missed using one of my favorite words on December 30, 2024, so I’ll pretend I was on time: happy Penultimate Day of 2024! I obviously learned that word in Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events. I can trace the beginnings of my love of the verbose to that series.
Cheers to endings and beginnings. I’ve been reflecting on this for some time. It started thanks to a Calm app exercise, which introduced the theme of how every breath we take has a beginning and an end. Even when we don’t recognize the cadence, once we start to pay attention, we’ll notice the pattern of our breath: breathe in - pause - breathe out - pause. I had never considered that! Beginnings and endings are as natural as our breathing; the trick is to acknowledge them without judgment.
As a result, I am experiencing a better understanding of my feelings recently. It’s so easy for me to focus on the endings of 2024; “judge” these experiences as personal blows meant to drag me down. And truly, the endings due to the death of pets have felt especially heavy. However, there have also been been beautiful beginnings; flourishing friendships, work successes, participation in a previously unknown ministry, a deeper grounding of my faith. I don’t “judge” these experiences - I simply accept them. How fascinating to have this revelation! I have never been good at simply accepting what I would consider bad, and have, as a result, judged whole years and seasons...rather than accept them.
Truly, my subconscious has been trying to teach me this over the last few months and it is quite surprising to finally articulate this. 2024 has included some life events that have, for all intents and purposes, been major. And yet, I don’t feel as if this year has been so bad (as I would have categorized previously). In my day to day, in my little circle of influence, life has been ok. While sometimes its been inelegant, and many tears have been shed, I have lived this year. Full stop. Without judgment, simply acknowledging that life has taken me on a journey in 2024 and I learned a lot from it. I can still be hopeful for 2025 without feeling like I need to judge it; “2025 needs to be the year X happens.” No. 2025 will be 2025 and it’s my life’s purpose to live it.
These last few months, I have focused on my family, on friends, and accepted that I wasn’t ready to engage online. No judgment required, or welcome, from myself on how I’ve navigated this second half of 2024. And that is a liberating thought! I am always quite ready with the excuses of why I am not in this space the way I want to be; but I am in this space the way that I am. Sometimes active, sometimes not.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Beginnings. Endings. 2024. 2025.
As always, you are welcome to The Inkwell, so glad you are here.
GGReyes